10 Changes We Want to See in the StarCraft 2 Beta: Part 1

As I lay naked in my room, curled into the fetal position around my StarCraft: Broodwar jewel case, I find that very few thoughts comfort me. StarCraft was probably my favorite computer game of all time, and the fact that there is no Beta Test release date and things just seem to keep getting pushed further and further back has me in a state of severe-alcoholic-panic.

10) Only release one map

Seriously, one map. I don't want to be forced to choose between $$$FASEST POSSIBLE 0 CLUTTER$$$ and LINDSEY LOHAN EXTREME PANTY PARTY.SMC in yet another game. Everyone knows that having more than one playable map is imbalanced. If another player knows the map and I don't, that is imbalance. If I have to expand at some point, that is extremely imbalanced. What smart players want is a map with no higher ground, 8 identical starting locations each with 30+ mineral nodes and 5 vespene geysers, where you start close enough to your opponent to 4 pool them but have a large enough area to successfully perform a photon-cannon-wall-in-to-carrier-rush strategy.


Something like this . If we can maybe eliminate the water so it's just one big slab of concrete, that would be preferable.








9) No 'random' option for race selection

This guy chooses random.

Nothing burns my ass like someone choosing random against me in a 1v1 game. I need to know what race you are so I can adjust my build order accordingly. How the heck am I supposed to know what race you are if you pick random? This is clearly imbalance. If I spent all morning watching replays of how to beat Protoss with Terran, you're really throwing me off my game by choosing random. If we can get rid of this option, we'll be ridding ourselves of pretentious players that think they "put in the time to learn to play all the races". Pffft, whatever.




8) No rush 10 minute rule

Was there anything worse in StarCraft than getting hit by a 9 pool when you're only on your 3rd or 4th bunker? Now is our chance to eliminate this feeling. For years, the "nr 10 min gg no re" rule has been put into effect in most legitimate battle.net games. Players that attack other players within the first 10 minutes of play should automatically lose and be banned from battle.net. Blizzard should start to officially embrace this system. Oh wait, they already did.


7) Automatic "Ally at End" policy for all multiplayer games


I don't see why my battle.net account should be blemished with a loss just because I didn't necessarily "win the game". We all know battle.net records are important and extremely accurate indicators of a player's ability. Having even one loss can be embarassing, and can only be made up for by doing 20 or 30 "comp stomp" games. Can't we show our opponents that we're the bigger men by allying up at the end of the game and getting everyone a win? In the words of our great president, yes we can.



6) No units should have a further attack range than defensive structures

What's the point of a line of 40 photon cannons to protect my base when one siege tank can take them all down? This defies the very essence of all that defensive structures are supposed to stand for. When I make a wall of sunken colonies, I expect them to do some tongue-impaling, not just get blasted from afar. I'm sure we can all agree on this one.


5) Get rid of Psionic Storm or Anything like it

I don't spend 15 minutes building up an army of 150 zerglings just to see them all get wiped out by 2 psionic storms. Lets drop it while we have the chance. Instead, can we get some more useful abilities like optical flare or spawn broodling?










AHHHH MY DOODS

I'll have my top 5 in a few days, once I calm down a bit.